For some reason tonight i can’t block out the memories and i can’t help thinking I would give anything for you to care again. I thought I would be happy just having you in my life In any way, but I’m not, not really, not when you don’t really want me around. I think I feel emptier this way than when you were gone, knowing that you’re right next to me but there’s never been a greater distance between us. I miss you.
I think it might be a bad sign that I’ve gotten to the point where if I feel even the slightest hint of an emotion my immediate thought is “shut it down”.